


Last Dance in Purgatory

by NxnsxgnorsDxmon



Series: Nunsignor Short Books [7]
Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story Asylum
Genre: AHS, Afterlife, Angst and Romance, Asylum, Blood, Character Death, Couple, Death, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Gore, Heaven & Hell, Heaven vs Hell, Jessica Lange - Freeform, Last Dance, Love, Monsignor Timothy Howard - Freeform, Nun, Post-Purgatory, Post-Suicide Mission, Priest, Purgatory, Purgatory Sex, Redemption, Romance, Self Harm, Shachath - Freeform, Ship, Suicide, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love, ahs asylum, american horror story - Freeform, american horror story asylum - Freeform, angel of death - Freeform, commit suicide, cut, explicit - Freeform, judy martin - Freeform, mature - Freeform, monsignor - Freeform, otp, relationship, sister jude - Freeform, sister jude martin - Freeform, timothy howard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:26:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NxnsxgnorsDxmon/pseuds/NxnsxgnorsDxmon
Summary: “Jude!?” He cried her name as his solid footsteps approached the tinier figure that halted abruptly as she turned to Timothy, facing him with slight apprehension as she didn’t expect him to choose the better path, in his opinion- namely joining Judy. Impassive hazel eyes met passionate chocolate as they locked into their stares. His nostrils were mesmerized by her rosy perfume and hair’s scrumptious aroma. Meanwhile, he put his hands in his slacks’ pockets, feeling so agitated especially in front of the person who he loved cordially but he threw her away by betraying her, firing her, locking her up in the same institution where they shared plenty of holy dreams and having secretly impure thoughts of one another, changing her name and most of all- promising to rescue her one day, howsoever, not keeping his promise, due to his lunatic, blinding obsession of power and becoming a Cardinal.She sighed exasperated, shortly before replying him back, inquiring him over his choice.Jude and Timothy’s last dance is their last dance in the purgatory.





	1. Hesitancy

**Author's Note:**

> Jude and Timothy’s last dance is their last dance in the purgatory.
> 
>  
> 
> What happens with the wretched souls when their life was brilliant after their accomplished blinding, divine ambitions? How about to the blissful ones? As their only thing they wanted is a family. Jude and Timothy’s last dance is their last dance in the purgatory.

 

 

 

What happens with the wretched souls when their life was brilliant after their accomplished blinding, divine ambitions? How about to the blissful ones? As their only thing they wanted is a family. Jude and Timothy’s last dance is their last dance in the purgatory.

 

Iron Maiden- Dance of Death

 _Let me tell you a story to chill the bones_ __  
About a thing that I saw  
One night wandering in the everglades   
I'd one drink but no more

 

After Briarcliff’s exposion by the famous journalist Lana Winters, the ambitious, persistent Cardinal felt remorses after the last time when he spotted occasionally Ms.Winters.

Not only his reputation was endangered due to the fact the facility, where he used to work as he’s responsible to give a commentary on hiring a former Nazi war criminal as a doctor of science and a serial killer as a doctor, the morbid conditions in the asylum, Shelley’s death; moreover he verged his physical and mental stamina. He thought subsequently, figured out his missed opportunities which he could make sense for somebody else’s life. The crucial midst them was more than a remorse. It was like a lacking fragment of his pounding heart in his chest. His blood froze abruptly as he dived in the mist, abysmal sea of his mind.

For what he was thinking right away? Oh no! It’s his most memorable person, who used to take a part of his life.  Person yearned for him more than anything. Who was tremendously loyal, consciously and spiritually devoted to him. Who was his right hand, his rare bird. Jude popped up in his mashed mind. But after her name left a track in his perplexed mind, he commenced to wonder about her. For example, how is she now? Is she still alive? If yes, where’s her current residence?

 

After he stepped in his compact, however, richly embellished apartment in New York, he released a frustrated inhale. He felt more than peccant and tormented. Especially as his conscience, imminent issues tortured him, gnawing him slowly. Likewise he didn’t know what to do right now. He doubted to continue his life. His New York miracle came true. Despite the false promise to one absent significant person.

 

He stepped in the bathroom, walking up to the sink as the mirror positioned above, reflexing his pale, nevertheless, handsome face for almost 40 years old man. His chocolate brown eyes darted blankly to his reflection, his unrealistic double him that stood in front of him. The sound of chirping birds were the only sound’s source in the ghastly silent bathroom. The ambiance itself built its horrid predicting walls that embody its imminent prey of committed suicide.

 

 _I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight_ __  
Gazing up at the stars  
Not aware of a presence so near to me   
Watching my every move

After staring within 30 seconds at his own reflection in the mirror, he glimpsed below the rectangle wooden framed mirror as he noted a silver razor. His salvation to transmit his soul, layered in shadows somewhere else rather than dwelling in his body yet, keeping on with the bland life of Cardinal as his career is the sole reason to live his life. He pitied himself as he gaped the razor that glistened past him, grabbing his attention immediately.

 

No longer than 15 seconds of hesitation between either grasping the razor or just leaving it to lay onto the sink, he determined his fate. If he grasped in his hand, alternatively he would put an end to his life, full of sacred and unholy lies, hypocrisy and self-centrism.

Once he took the blade after his hesitancy, he scrutinized the sharp object as his palm’s skin felt the coldness beneath the razor. He emitted a crude inhale from the top of his lungs, his tightened heart be shrouded in shadow ropes of plagued fatigue, imminent death and dullness, aching as it beat yet in his chest. It was his last hope to rescue himself from a couple of jeopardy.

He thought for a couple of seconds until he came with his final but lethal decision. Timothy walked up to the porcelain bath, filling the bath with lukewarm water. Whereas he stripped every garment of his as he held the blade in his sole free hand.

As soon as he stood nigh the already filled bath with nothing that hugged his excellently built body, he sat in the bath, exhaling as his chocolate eyes fixed on the glistening razor. His eyes radiated further off fear.

Then he commenced slitting his wrists slowly, feeling the morbidly sharp razor digging in his white like milk skin as the sharp edge penetrated, encircling with gore the silver verge as blood spurted thickly, marvelously. Last but not at least, he groaned faintly, sensing his gradual, accomplished mortality.

 

 _Feeling scared and I fell to my knees_ __  
As something rushed me from the trees  
Took me to an unholy place   
And that is where I fell from grace

 

When his wrists were slit, he dropped the bloody razor on the aristocratically marble tiled floor, a handful of gore drops surrounding the sharp, lethal object; his eyes gaped up at the ceiling, feeling the tremendous shame that invaded him to not look at his cuts. The bath’s water vapored with blood, blanketing his sailing, motionless corpse.

Suddenly he heard a similar, nonetheless gentle voice approaching his ears as the angel of death, wearing gothic onyx attires, raven black hair haloing her pale, porcelain face with her vivid, red lips trembling as her heels clicked as she was on the other side of the bath, stroking Timothy’s cheek with her gloved hand, her icy blue eyes looking up at his flinched facial expression.

 

_Then they summoned me over to join in with them_ _  
To the dance of the dead_

“Your time had arrived, Pope.” Shachath exclaimed softly as her gloved hand’s  touch sent shivers down the Pope’s spine of franticness.

 

He didn’t answer her exclaimation, his eyes looked up at her, his mouth agape. He had abundance of questions to the fallen angel who was being encouraged to kiss him and end his pathetic life, thanks to his selfishness, blind, divine ambition. His skin electrified as he sensed goosebumps as his lukewarm body chilled.

“Are you ready, Timothy?” The angel of death inquired as she was prepared to press her lips on his trembling, cold ones, her winter blue eyes darted to his chocolate that gave her a shameful eyeing.

“Yes. Release me, please.” The priest felt already defeated as he said his final words in pleading, low voice.

 

_Into the circle of fire I followed them_ _  
Into the middle I was led_

Without hesitation, the goth, grim angel pressed gently her lips on his, cupping his cheek as she fluttered her grand feather wings, closing her eyes as Timothy’s heart stopped functioning, his corpse laying in the bloodbath, his hands rested outside the bath.


	2. Jude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothy encounters an old friend of his and pressumably his secret lover. How he encounters her in his afterlife?

 

 

Once Shachath vanished, Timothy opened partly his eyes as his vision was profoundly blurry, waking up in the location where he eventually committed suicide. He set free a raspy grunt and gasp as his eyes were already widely opened, looking around his surroundings in perplexion. He actually figured out one of his questions answered.

 

“What am I doing here?” Timothy questioned inwardly, hearing his quiet echo jingling his ears.

 

“Am I supposed to be dead?” He continued, feeling the desolation encircling him in a cold, dull embrace.

 

He looked down at his hands as traces of slit hands and blood were no longer visible, as a result of healing. The bath’s water was the same just before committing suicide in his single lived life. Sheer. Transparent. Astonished. He refrained to peel a word as he was pretty astonished. Likewise, clicking heels sound came from the numb hall as his eyes looked up in corridor’s direction, barely noticing the source.

 

“Who are you?” He posed the question after groaning.

 

_As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear_ _  
But still I wanted to go_

A silhouette loomed on bathroom’s doorway, reflecting the secretive woman figure on the floor.

 

“Who are you, Ms.?” He yelled louder, beyond frustration of unknown visitor’s silence.

 

“Quiet down, Timothy!” A woman replied overbearingly, wearing long ravishing red strapless dress with plunge neckline, indicating her luscious cleavage, bright red stilettos protecting her bare feet, black fishnet gloves layered her petite, elegant hands as her ravishing red fingernails lit his startled face. She wore her long glossy curly golden hair down, cascading down her soft shoulders as she wore red lipstick. She held between two fingers a long mint cigarette. He attempted to not admire her beauty though the perturbation.

 

_And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me_ _  
As I walked onto the coals_

“Jude?” He recognized instantly her voice once she walked around him, encompassing him with her cocky heels clicking steps. He was beyond shocked for seeing the love of his life in his bathroom as his back relaxed.

 

“What are you doing here?”He questioned anxiously as his uneasiness drastically grew in a matter of seconds.

“I came here for a few things where I need your word.” She stated as she sat on the rim of bath, propped her elbow as she held her cigarette, pulling off as she puffed dim that diffused as it approached Timothy’s nose, coughing reluctantly.

“Oh.”He sighed as his self-conscious eyes wandered down from her fabulous silky golden hair to her slightly revealing bright red stilettos. “I’d have not been expecting you right here, right there.”

 “Well, first of all how you died?”

“W-wait a sec…” He paused as he struggled to utter, gazing at her in puzzled way as he hadn’t realized yet where’s eventually. “Aren’t you actually already dead? If yes, how all this happened and where am I?”

“Before to owe you an answer to your questions, I’d like yours on mine.” She snapped as she puffed off her mint cigarette, a cocky smile spreading on her pale face.

“Well, urm… I have actually committed suicide by slitting my wrists in this bath.”

“Because you are a coward, aren’t you?”

“Right.”He agreed humbly nodding. His voice saturated ashamed tingles in his utterance.

“You had proved it. Because of your stupid, lunatic, blind Pope ambition, dear.” She clarified as her smug smile saturated across her ravishing red lips.

“Unfortunately, yes.”He was beyond panicked as his face turned rosy when she addressed him “dear”, besides he swallowed a lump in his throat, struggling to admit the ugly truth about the selfish, hypocritical and persistent young priest.

“I like that you are admitting your sincerity in our afterlife.”

A modest, sheepish smile shaped in the corner of his plump lips, without peeling a word. Then she moved on as she approached him, removing her propped arm as she took his mammoth hand into her petite, elegant one, fitting perfectly into one another. Their cheeks heated as he felt her tenderness.

“But I don’t deserve your kindness. I’m truly sorry for betraying you, making all this mess to ruin your life.” He lowered his head as he sensed his heart enveloped in somber, shame and guilt.

“Why all this being said to me right now?  It’s too late, Timothy.”

“It’s never late, Jude. Moreover, I didn’t have the chance to tell you all this because I was blind and a coward.”

“You are actually.” She stated frustrated. “You were back in your life. Guess where your rare bird fled away!”

“Where?” He scratched his head with his sole free hand.

“Kit actually rescued me from the madness.” Tears started welling in her eyes as she grasped firmer his hand. “You cannot realize how happy I passed away, being surrounded by a foster family with children that loved me even more than their deceased mothers. I was called “nana”.” She sobbed quietly as she got from the bath, stubbing the cigarette in the ashtray on the window’s ledge, her stilettos clicking as she sat beside him on the bath, wiping her own tears.

“Oh, I’m so pleased and relieved to hear this. “He took her hand in his as with his other one’s thumb wiped her tears. “What’s this place? How you died?”

“I got sick and lived the last months of my life blissfully the last autumn.”She paused as she cupped his cheek in her hand. “We are in the purgatory, dear Timothy. We don’t have a lot of time as you should choose between coming with me in the heaven or otherwise…hell.”

 

 _And I felt I was in a trance_ __  
And my spirit was lifted from me  
And if only someone had the chance   
To witness what happened to me

 

 

“I don’t think I deserve to come with you in heaven.”He replied rather skeptically. “After you endured so much sorrow while I harvested my ego.” Timothy furthered pitifully.

“I granted you a chance now. Do not miss it!” She warned.

He grew silent, hardly having any clue how to respond as suddenly Jude whispered “I love you!”, thereafter vanishing in the void as Timothy was all alone, naked in his bathtub. He groaned in low voice when he saw nobody as Jude’s presence was an illusion.

“Jude?” He extended his arm in the void, screaming her name in dullness that numbed the room. His smile faded away on his palish, apprehensive face.


	3. Inside the Purgatory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No remnants were ever found of it  
> Feeling the hot bile
> 
> “Jude?” He extended his arm in the void, screaming her name in dullness that numbed the room. His smile faded away on his palish, apprehensive face.
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains triggering violence. You have been warned!

 

 

 

Disturbed- Asylum

_No remnants were ever found of it_ _  
Feeling the hot bile_

“Jude?” He extended his arm in the void, screaming her name in dullness that numbed the room. His smile faded away on his palish, apprehensive face.

“Timothy!”The same angel emerged beside the bath, smiling to him as her utterance soothed him.

 _With every fake smile_ __  
Though no evidence was ever found  
  


He eyed Shachath as his blood froze once he acknowledged her presence again, recalling her mystically beautiful physical features. Timothy felt mightless and he didn’t know what to reply in return to the angel of death. He just nod his head diffidently as he knew she had a foreword to tell him directly. He wanted to pose profusion of questions the angel, despite his abstinence.

“You had a visitor moments ago. Her!” Shachath clarified as pretext  _Her_ he knew right away who she meant.

“Is this really a purgatory?” He enquired.

_It never went away completely_

_I try to appellate a holy sound of it_   
  


“Yes, it’s, Timothy!” Timothy knew already he’s in purgatory as he was uncertain about the rest of the stuff that queried him in this time, wrecking his mind with diversity of questions which answers rarely would be delivered deservedly.

“What she was talking about the time?”

“She meant you don’t have a lot of time as you have less than twenty four hours to decide either if you want to join her in heaven or the hell is your new home for your soul.” The angel of death explained intelligibly as she walked up to Timothy, leant as she caressed his cheek in her gloved hand, tilting his head as she pursued for his chocolate eyes. Chocolate eyes, oozing perplexion, waver and mild panic due to the least expected visitor before Shachath’s second appearance. Especially in his after life, his hesitancy between choosing the godly home where he didn’t belong after killing Shelley, letting two murderously dangerous doctors, a former Nazi war criminal and a serial killer, working in Briarcliff, and last but not least, casting aside the former Sister of the Catholic church; or rather, his new home for his sins and wrongdoings for every wretched, repenting soul. The hell.

Timothy pendulated as he swallowed a hard lump as his heart fell in his stomach after hearing the unsacred hell where he has never desired to go after he die either gloriously or notoriously, nevertheless was his true place after his vicious, unforgiving misdeeds.

“After you finish with dressing yourself, go through this door.” Shachath pointed at the door with a forefinger of her other gloved hand, glimpsing at the glowing yellow large door, returning her casted gaze at his chocolate eyes as her velvety voice molted his heart. “Timothy, you should hurry! Your opportunities are limited.” She cautioned passionatelessly seconds before vanishing in the vacuum as he didn’t sense her smooth gloved hand’s caress anymore and the lukewarm breath, tickling his face’s creamy skin.

The young priest rose as he got from the bath, picking up the tossed clothes on the marble tiled bathroom floor as he dressed up swiftly in them without losing valuable time as he had more important task for his utter salvation. Choosing wisely his own destiny.

Once Timothy was already dressed up in his black slacks, black clerical shirt and oxford shoes, he looked around the bathroom once again as last farewell when he passes the unknown door, awaiting him greater surprises. Just like the pandora’s box with its paradoxing secrets inside its ancient chest. He inhaled hard as he said inwardly farewell to the place where he actually committed suicide, thereafter rushing to the large door, opening it as he closed behind, establishing in an unidentified space.

It had nothing as he scrutinized his surroundings as he had just one alternative. To walk through the void.

When he walked down as he paid studiously attention to his path as he didn’t want to bump up into something that would emerge in the least predictable moment, in the interim he saw from far away slowly walking woman figure. As he sped up as he was aware it was his rare bird, he realized it was Jude as she was clothed in the same garments where she encountered him in the purgatory.

“Jude!?” He cried her name as his solid footsteps approached the tinier figure that halted abruptly as she turned to Timothy, facing him with slight apprehension as she didn’t expect him to choose the better path, in his opinion- namely joining Judy. Impassive hazel eyes met passionate chocolate as they locked into their stares. His nostrils were mesmerized by her rosy perfume and hair’s scrumptious aroma. Meanwhile, he put his hands in his slacks’ pockets, feeling so agitated especially in front of the person who he loved cordially but he threw her away by betraying her, firing her, locking her up in the same institution where they shared plenty of holy dreams and having secretly impure thoughts of one another, changing her name and most of all- promising to rescue her one day, howsoever, not keeping his promise, due to his lunatic, blinding obsession of power and becoming a Cardinal.

She sighed exasperated, shortly before replying him back, inquiring him over his choice.

“Urgh, Timothy! What made you to come here with me?” She posed the question deadly serious as she wanted a wise, well-judged answer from him, although she has such conflicting, raving emotions and feelings about him. Loving him and thinking him for the man who she can dedicate her life by sharing one dream- Rome. Or on the contrary, the egomaniacal man, preoccupied with church’s dominance over his false hoped promises to his rare bird. The man she abhorred to bones and broke her heart, ripping it on trillions of pieces. Her response was far from civilized as she inquired him like an infuriated teenager over his chosen fate by him as he was guided by Shachath. Their savior.

_Another day gone_ _  
Another night's drawn_

The priest didn’t know how to respond as he inhaled calmly, attempting to tidy his own thoughts in his mind to find the exact, accurate response to her complex question where he needed to include some of his frank philosophy rather than a regular cliché.

“I followed you because I wanted to tell you things you might have not heard back in our life in the world where we are no longer living.” He admitted candidly, bluntly, without fluctuation. Timothy expected her negative overreaction over his response to her question. She couldn’t trust him after he harvested his own ego and pursued to accomplish his Vatican marvel rather than to get Jude out of the madhouse as he was the crucial reason with Mary Eunice and Arden for her nemesis, rendering her a madwoman who she has never been in her life, and leave the church to supervise her as she heals from her everlasting scars from her sinful past and Briarcliff that brought her after being committed. “I love you, J-Jude!” He stuttered as his face lightly flushed as he got his hand out of his pocket, lifting it up timidly up to her face, cupping her chin, tilting her head to look directly into one another’s eyes.

“Ugh!” She sighed dramatically, pushing away his hand from her face as she wanted to run away from him. From the man, she has never perceived as a monster until he did the unbelievable, obnoxiously dazzling things to her. Things she has never expected from a man with goodwill. What it enraged her even more was to hear his “I love you!” especially after his betrayal. “Is that all you want to tell me? After you fired me, believed in the lunatic Nazi war criminal, whose patients were missing or were transformed in freaks, and his little minion who I perceived as my own daughter figure? After killing innocent souls? How about when I became an inmate and you promised me to get me out of the hellhole but you didn’t bother to pursue your Vatican blind dream?” She jived him with rhetorical questions as she hissed through clutched teeth, combusting tears almost ready to stream down her face. Her hazel eyes were filled with merciless dudgeon and rage. All she wanted to do is to suffocate him with her both stark hands, choking his neck as potently as she could, fueling her adrenaline as she consumes it. In spite of her passive aggression, she didn’t want to hurt him physically as it would be far from tactical generally, besides she was heartbroken and she hesitated to forgive him. She loved him deeply, despite the discrepant odium of his actions and the majority of his speeches and sweet words that opted to seal her mind with golden imagination of the dream they shared once together where she’d have been taken with him and living a revered life as a Cardinal and Mother Superior.

“Jude, please. I am sincere.” He paused as he didn’t give up, grabbing her jaw as he tilted her head, tailing her eyes as he beheld the genuine colors of them behind her emotions and feelings. “I love you!” He furthered bravely as he knew right away what she would say after her blunt outrage.

“Go away!” She pushed him away, her fists walloped his chest, promptly ran away without turning to face him as her stilettos commenced clicking frequently as they were the sole noise source in the purgatory. She determined herself to escape from him as far as she could. Jude didn’t want to see him ever again. Her blubbers and high pitched bawl rang in Timothy’s ears as he darted desperately eyes to Jude who expedited her acceleration as soon as possible. He sped up as he wanted to catch her and comfort her, although he sensed a prejudice of being neglected by her, reminding him exactly of his betrayal to Jude. Eventually he realized his callous, lame mistakes that wasted his potential which he had. Especially when it was too late for everything. He was being investigated by Lana over Briarcliff’s horrors and unanswered questions that abided unsolved yet, as they subsequently doom his reputation as his chances of becoming a Pope pare down. And if he was amidst the living souls yet, facing the prosecution and investigation even sue him, losing his Cardinal title, his dreams would be wrecked and spend the rest of his days behind the prison bars.

 _How can I feel this empty_  
I will not recover this time  
This loneliness is killing me

 _Will I ever know peace of mind again_  
I don't believe it  
I can't achieve it  
I think I know it's just another sign that  
Never went away completely

Once Jude walked in the middle of the void street with small houses and a grand tower between two of the cottages as she and Timothy were the only inhabitants of this place, she rushed as she entered in the grand, tall tower with its scarcely spacious spiral stairway, climbing the stairs as she reached the thirtieth floor breathless, panting heavily as she traipsed, propped her shoulder on the doorway, trying to catch her breath and taking a break until she furthers. She perspired after mounting up the tenth floor.

As soon as she caught her breath, she ambled up as she entered in a small, however, sufficiently expansive room. It overwhelmed her there was a queen-sized bed with crimson red round cushions, two nightstands, encompassing the bed alongside. An authentic painting hanged above the lacquered headboard. A retro gramophone stood next to the large French window. A regale onyx black carpet blanketed the maple floor.

She scrutinized carefully the room as she walked up to the bed, sitting on the edge of it as she fixed her fishnet gloves, gloving her hands. She casted a blank contemplate on the French window as she began to shiver, sensing the coldness prevailing her body’s temperature as her skin electrified and goosebumped.

_How can I feel this empty?_ _  
I will not recover this time_

She was already lost in her thoughts once she sat on the bed, figuring out what she did just a few minutes ago. She felt a profound remorse that gnawed her slowly. She overreacted on Timothy’s words when he confessed his love to her and instead of replying him positive, she neglected him and fleeing away. Jude cogitated complexly the situation, comprehending her mistake. Oddles of questions swam in her mind. For example she thought…What if Timothy doesn’t forgives her for her overreaction? What if she never sees him again especially in the purgatory where they belonged now until they came to their final conclusion where their soul will be transmitted? What if he forgives her and tells her again and again how much he does love her and wants her? How she would react this time? Would it be either better or much worse, compared to the time prior?

 _This loneliness is killing me_ __  
  
Will I never know peace of mind again?

All of a sudden, something snap her out of her deep-seated thoughts as she heard tramps that diffused like a searing echo through the tower’s walls. She shifted her eyes as she turned to face the doorway as her heart froze momentarily. She knew right away it was Timothy. Jude incredibly recognized his heavy footsteps that towered stairs almost restlessly.

Meanwhile she thought to herself:

“Will he forgive me for my overreaction?”

 _I don't believe it_ __  
I can't achieve it  
I think it all is just another sign  
That never went away completely

Then she looked away from the doorway as she gaped tepidly the east side of the room’s wall, her hands trembling as the purgatory’s climate was unbearably cold after abiding motionless for a handful of minutes at least. Just like a marble statue.

Suddenly she heard a masculine voice that wasn’t dozen inches away from her ears, colliding in the four wall room of the tower.

“Jude!?” Timothy burst out silently as it was sufficiently audible for her ears. She turned to Timothy who stood abreast the bed’s foot desk. The blonde emitted a fatigued sighed, incapable of delivering him the cold-blooded, precise answer as she opted to sort her mind.

“Timothy, I owe you an apology for my impulsive irrationality just a few minutes ago. Are you going to forgive me?” Jude enquired as she wiped her sweaty eyebrow with her bare forearm. It was irrefutably evident she didn’t have much choice. She was almost always in bad terms with men after Casey left her and it was far from complexly apparent how and why. They used her juvenileness grace and body for their pleasures. They have never asked her how her day passed at least. They have never even bothered to question her about her feelings and condition. The sole men with whom even the most amiable relationship is shared with one another, are Frank and somewhat Timothy, in spite of his betrayal, selfishness and yellow-belly demeanor. Frosty tears commenced building in the former nun’s eyes, almost ready to well in her dazzling, however, frosty hazel eyes. She was fed up with being betrayed and heart-broken. She is being quested to rescue one more soul in less than 24 hours. It was nobody else but Timothy, himself. Although he didn’t deserve the heavenly, peaceful paradise, Jude didn’t want to abandon him in the middle of the nowhere and to go in hell. She knew how much the treachery and heartaches sorely hurt. Nevertheless, she doesn’t realize her overreaction is nothing compared to these. She somewhat forgave him for his wrongdoings, howsoever, there’s another question. Is he going to forgive her for her rage that she exhibited?

“O-of course, I am forgiving you, Jude. That’s nothing compared to what I have done to you.” He offered her a genuine smile as his hands were in his slacks’ pockets. In the interim, the blonde nodded as she affirmed his words, agreeing with him. “May I sit next to you?” The former priest asked politely.

She just sighed reluctantly as she maneuvered him to sit as he approached the bed, sitting next to her as he expressed his gratitude to her.

The both former pious faces of the church casted a blankless gape to the gramophone as an awkward, hollowing silence flooded the room. They haven’t pelt a word seconds later.

Jude quietly sobbed to herself as she didn’t want Timothy to note her current condition. She just got from the bed, strolling over to the gramophone, moving its needle to the spot that held its disk until it played a song in the playground, filling the room with some life. It was actually playing Near you by Francis Craig as Jude re-seated next to Timothy again as he looked up at her.

_“_ _There's just one place for me, near you_ _._ _It's like heaven to be, near you_ _._ _Times when we're apart_ _”_

“I presuppose you know this song!” Jude asked a rhetorical question with a sympathetic smile looming across her ravishing red lips. She halted sobbing as her tears didn’t betray enough to gush down her cheeks.

“Yes, it’s Near you by Francis Craig.” Timothy guessed as a sweet, masculine smile shaped on his face.

Then Jude emitted a guttural chuckle as Timothy joined her, their eyes locked up in one another’s stares. “Correctly, Timothy!” She tapped lightly, jubilantly his shoulder. “Perhaps you have musical knowledge.”

“Not exactly!” He tittered. “However, my musical knowledge is decent enough for an average person especially priest.” He continued.

“It surprises me because you have served almost your entire life as a priest.” In the meantime, Jude thrummed inwardly to herself, relishing its background music that yet played in the background. Timothy admired Jude’s full image and her voice as her thrum diffused to his ears, jingling holy hymns. His eye glistened as the former promiscuous nightclub singer recognized scintillas of bliss and serenity. Megawatt smile distorting across his lips.

_“_ _I can't face my heart_ _._ _Say you'll never stray_ _._ _More than just two lips away_ _”_

“You have such a spectacular voice.” He didn’t miss the opportunity to compliment her voice as he noted some kind of talent in her.

“Thank you!” She blushed as she responded humbly. “I used to be a singer before nunnery. It was nothing special.”

“That sounds interesting. But why?”

_Terror is coursing in me_ _  
Dreading the final moments_

“You don’t want to know, I assure ya.”

_“_ _If my hours could be spent near you_ _._ _I'd be more than content near you_ _”_

“I don’t care what you used to be in the past, just tell me, please.” He insisted as he diminished his voice’s decibels to sound as quiet as possible. “I won’t judge you.” Timothy tried to reassure her as he cupped her jaw in his hand, cocking her head down as her forehead rested against his, hazel eyes linked to chocolate in an intense eye contact.

“I have warned ya earlier so…I was always being pressured, no matter what efforts I tried to put in improving myself as a person to be just perfect. I have grown with a single mother and my father left me when I was just a little girl. Howsoever, I fell in love with a man named Casey, who I thought would be a trustworthy, loving and most of all…just fine man!” She paused as her heart twinged even more when she commenced with her monologue. Flashbacks from her younger years rewinded just like skipped scenes from a movie. “He wasn’t that type of man who I thought he was in the beginning. He used me. His infidelity broke my heart, cracking it on immense pieces.” She paused as she opted to catch her breath. Likewise she refrained from weeping though this scar didn’t recede off. “Not only he scared me away from the love, but also he infected me with syphilis as I am incapable of having children. I forgave him. I still loved him even if he hated me for telling him after what the doctors told me. He called me a liar and a whore and left me like a garbage!”

Timothy’s heart fractured abruptly after hearing her grim monologue, listening regardfully as his attention was ultimately focused on Jude. His hush aided her rather to reckon.

_When I have to dream_ _  
And feel you die_

“Afterwards I fought with a great depression and I wanted to commit suicide. But I was such a coward to do it. And so I was starting to numb myself with boozing and sleeping with random men when I was a singer. One day I wanted to escape from everything as far as I could until I experienced one more car crash. Fortunately, surviving it as I established in St.Andrews and God helped me as I found eventually the right path to light. To become a nun and keep my vows.”

_Flashback_

_1945_

_“I am sorry to inform you, Ms.Martin! But you are infected with syphilis.” Dr.Stewart informed the young woman as she seated against his desk, dozens of minutes after checking his patient. She paid a visit to the gynecologist as a month later after she had sex with Casey and she didn’t note the usual pregnancy symptoms that ensued._

_Even she noted her fiancé bizarre demeanor lately as he wasn’t returning back at home after 9pm. He was actually getting back at home whenever he wants especially either in 2 or 3am in the morning. Judy was aware that he might cheat on her. He does it, of course. It was pretty evident in his demeanor. Moreover, she stayed awake until the morning until he gets back at home as she wanted to be with him and his explaination. Every time whenever Judy poses the question about where he was, he avoided to answer her question as he was the provocateur who enquired her and menaced her with slaps and bruising her._

_In the interim, her face became pale as her mouth was agape, watching blankly the doctor’s amber eyes, unable to speak anything as she was somewhat well informed about the syphilis and some other illnesses._

_“W-what do you mean with this, doctor?” She stuttered as she was almost mightless to speak. “What does that mean?” Judy furthered as she enquired again._

_“That means you are incapable of having your partner’s children. That’s what I am trying exactly to say, Miss.” The young doctor explained to her as her heart froze after hearing the deplorable truth. “I am really sorry!” He apologized as frosty tears commenced building as they started to well in her eyes, gushing down her cheeks as Dr.Stewart recognized her desperate condition._

_She restrained from peeling a word as she was profoundly hurt to hear the truth behind the reasons why she wasn’t experiencing morning sickness, food cravings and mood swings. On other hand, she was also livid as she realized who stays in front of the syphilis. It was actually Casey who did it. He infected her with this horrid sickness as she won’t be able to be fertile anymore and carry her own child. Made from her flesh and blood. Made from the father’s flesh and blood. To possess its parents’ outstanding physical features._

_Instead of uttering a syllable, she just grabbed her purse, left doctor’s office by saying a simple goodbye as she lastly cared about Casey’s reaction when she tells him about it. Not only that rendered her apprehensive, however, she feared if he leaves her. She had opulent of questions, flooding her intermingled mind with questions that plagued her right away. Her emotions were even more conflicting. Between anger, grief and numbness. Judy didn’t know exactly what it kind of emotions dominated more. She just didn’t know what to do. She hesitated between telling Casey about doctor’s misfortunate news or hiding it. On the contrary, she preferred to be honest with him rather than either concealing it for a certain period of time or lying to him._

_After Judy got back at her home where she shared a roof with Casey and their wedding was just tomorrow, she parked the car In front of the garage as she listen some music to soothe her, although it didn’t help her at all._

_“_ _I fall in love too easily_ _._ _I fall in love too fast_ _._ _I fall in love too terribly hard_ _._ _For love to ever last_ _.” The car radio’s music played in the background, jingling in Judy’s ears as she turned off the radio as soon as she stopped her car’s engine._

_“Goddamn it! He is going to kill me…”She paused. “…but I need to be honest with him!” Judy muttered to herself as she emboldened herself, meantime opening the car door as she got out of the car as she gripped the purse, locking the car as she stormed off the car, her heels clicking vigorously, stomping the ground, overlooking her surroundings as her hazel eyes were darted to the front door until she stood in front of it, delving in her purse for the keys as she got them by unlocking the door._

_Hence, she stepped in the hallway as she shut the door, kicking off her heels as she burst out:_

_“Honey, I am home!”_

_Then no response returned. She thought she was home alone just like almost every day. Enduring loneliness and unrequited love with the first man she fell in love with and aroused impatience to marry formally as they become a wed couple, yet loving each other and find different alternatives to have children._

_The one story house that she lived in with Casey wasn’t exquisitely furnished at all. It was rather modestly or normally. They have known each other for 2 years as they started living together for almost 2 years._

_When she left the purse on the cupboard, she zinged up to the kitchen as she saw her fiancé with a glass of whiskey in his hand, raising its glass as he looked up at her with emotionless look on his face, narrowing an eyebrow._

_“Is there anything wrong, sweetheart?” She asked him concerned as she approached him, crouching down to him as she cupped his cheeks in her hands, looking up straightly in his sapphire blue eyes, noting his unusual demeanor._

_Then he casted glare on her as he sipped in a gulp the whiskey, unable to take his eyes off her. He totally ignored her as he growled under his breath:_

_“Do not sweetheart me! You are so lucky I haven’t smacked a slap across your doll face!”_

_“Excuse me? Casey, look! How do you welcome your future bride like that? Without answering the door, hugging her, kissing her and the first thing of all to ask her how is she?” Judy replied waxily. “You don’t care about me…anymore?!” Meanwhile he pushed away her hands from his cheeks as his face acquired ruddy hue of tetchiness._

_“Sit down on the fucking chair and tell me about doctor’s results or I will slap you otherwise!” He menaced her as her heart fell in her stomach as she raised her torso, strolling over a chair as she seated against him. Instead of answering his threat, she just obediently did what he told her._

_“Well, the doctor told me I was actually infected with…” In the meantime, her hand reached for his as she took it in her for support, stammering as igniting tears began building in her eyes as her heart sunk. Fortunately, she felt the ounce off her shoulders as she was relieved to tell him all this, in spite of her uneasiness. “…syphilis!” His eyes widened as she mentioned the sickness, scarcely daring to peel a word as she furthered with her speech. “Look what, sweetie! I am forgiving you for what you did to me. I love you! We can work it…” Unfortunately, Casey cut her off, barely giving her the opportunity to finish it as he was beyond steamed up, pulling away his hand from her as he was disgusted by her._

_“Fucking bitch!” He got from the chair as his nerves verged, yelling at her as her hands and legs quivered by his radical anger. He lifted down his hand to the emptied glass of whiskey, gripping it as her hazel eyes, filled with mortification fixed on his afflicted face, paralyzed to move away as she wanted to observe his imminent action. “Fucking lying bitch!” He repeated bluntly as he got crueler, hardly controlling his language and threw the whiskey glass at her as she dodged it as it hit the wall instead. “Whore!” Casey shouted balefully as he hasted up to her as she got from the chair as quick as she could, moving away from him as she didn’t want to be caught by him. The threating tears already gushed down her cheeks as these words hurt the bottom of her heart. He was after her until he gets her._

_“Please, Casey! Noo!” He grabbed her by her soft long wavy golden hair as his tug was as potent as he could as she groaned through bitter tears. He used this moment with his other hand to smack a slap across her face as she fell on the ground, crawling down as much as she could though Judy wasn’t strong sufficiently to escape his violent demeanor as his adrenaline oozed off him. “We can work it out, dear! If we don’t even have children…” One of her sentences abided unfinished like a few moments ago. Casey pigheadedly overlooked her words as he gripped her by her dress’s fabric, spinning her as he slapped her face as she just prostrated on the wooden planked flooring in the living room, her eyes defeatedly darted to his, her hand clamping her cheek as he left his imprinted fingers on her face, wailing thwarted like a prey. In the interim, he crouched down to her as he scrutinized her face in disgust and rage._

_“I don’t care anymore, you fucking lying bitch and whore! I knew you did it to yourself.”_

_“No, it wasn’t me! You did infect me with syphilis.” Judy argued back as she raised her voice’s decibels as she was her nerves were nigh their edge to tolerate his barbaric demeanor. “I was always loyal to you and I would never think of looking at another man. It’s apparent who gave me this sinister illness. It’s you! Because you are cheating on me and that’s obvious as you get back at home either in 2 or even 3am in the morning.” She kept on as she didn’t give up to defend her own position._

_Then he spat on her face as Casey was fed up with listening to her. He was far from tranquil and wanted already to flee out of her house._

_“Once a whore, always a whore, Judy! Go to hell!” He stated as he hurtled up to the hangers with coats and jackets, grabbing his leather black jacket, walking up to the front door as he slammed door. Jude continued to blubber as she wasn’t strong enough to get from the ground and stop him. It was too late._

_“Do not leave me!” Judy shrieked in pain as she held her bruised cheek._

_Minutes later, she got from the wooden planked flooring as she headed up to the kitchen, grabbed a sharp silver razor as she wanted to end her agony, pain and everything else. Not only she was heartbroken after telling everything to Casey and witnessed his impulsive reaction, furthermore she thought the suicide is the single chance to rescue herself from the world’s coldness and brutality._

_Once she took in her hand the razor, she aimed it as Judy scarcely slit her wrist due to her fear to die in the swiftest, most efficient way. Hesitancy didn’t left her mind as it was unsteady, occupying her mind for a handful of minutes only._

_“Come on! Don’t be such a coward, Judy! Kill yourself since you want it!” An inner voice echoed in her as she tossed the razor in the kitchen sink unintentionally, not having the sufficient strength to slit her wrist._

_“Urrghh!” She grunted ferociously._

_Afterwards she grabbed from the counterplot a bottle of whiskey, pouring In an empty, clean glass some alcoholic beverage as she proceed with doing it until she lost her consciousness and passed on the floor. She was still alive yet._

****_***_ ** **


	4. "Baby, I'm gonna make you mine"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter will contain sexual content. If you are easily disturbed or nauseating of such stuff, then don't read. :))

 

 

All of a sudden, Jude fell asleep as she reclined on the bed as Timothy watched her in awe, hypnotized by her indisputable beauty as another song played in the background, boating in the room on the top of the tower. His hands were on his thighs and sheepishly smiling to Jude. She was still slumbering. He couldn’t contain the broad, sheepish smile that honed on his face, his heart molting as he just gaped at the unconscious former nun. She was just like an angel, clothed in ravishing red ankle length dress with plunging neckline that concealed partly her cleavage, bloody red lips, black fishnet gloves and her old Hollywood golden curly hair, ruffled around her, shaping a hallowed halo. Judy looked so vulnerable. So angelic. So beautiful.

 

 _“I'm gonna make you mine I know I'll never give up, I'm at the end of my rope_ _.”_  The background music played via the gramophone as it was the sole sound source in the mortally hushing purgatory.

 

Timothy couldn’t suppress the smile that kept growing on his lips, whereas listening to the song’s lyrics as his warm chocolate eyes radiates felicity and lust in the same time. He wasn’t sure what made Jude to fall asleep as he humbly rubbed her shoulder, whispering in her ear in velvety voice:

 

“Judy, wake up!”

 

Then she stiffed as she opened reluctantly her eyelids, stretching her arms as Timothy laid on one side, his eyes wandered up and down her petite figure. The rosy scent of her hair still flattered around his nose as he took her hand into his larger one, lifting it up for a kiss as she giggled uneasily, sensing her cheeks heating as her face flushed, peppered with sanguine tint.

 

“Oh, Timothy!” She evoked softly.

 

“You have fallen asleep!” Timothy cautioned as Jude’s slight smile curled up in the corner of her ravishing red lips.

 

 _“From the morning till suppertime, you'll find I'll be waiting in line, I'll be waiting in line I'm gonna make you mine.”_ Lou Christie’s song still played in the background, boating in the room.

 

“I just fell asleep. I am sorry!” Her reply sounded like a whisper beyond the hollow.

 

“It’s alright, Jude. No need to apologize! But frankly…your past is a total disaster. You didn’t deserve to be treated by the way he did after it was oblivious to him what damage has caused to you.”

 

She just nodded her head, affirming his words in humble manner with a frown, crawling on her face.

 

_“Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. Make you mine, I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. I'm gonna make you mine_ _”_

All of a sudden, lop-sided silence fell between the both former pious members of the clergy, whose crucial issue between them was actually the unrequited love and feelings which they haven’t confessed, in spite of their potent friendship and love they had for one another back in their life, and the betrayal which tore Jude’s heart off. The song was still playing joyously in the background, resurrecting the ambience inside the purgatory.

As usually the purgatories are places prone to be murderously quiet and mystic unless the gramophone’s music resuscitates the vacuum’s muteness. They aren’t just usual places where the sounds are a common phenomenon.

Jude and Timothy just stared at one another, without peeling a single word, smiling awkwardly, however, arcanely to each other as the song was jingling and jingling in rejoicing manner, reviving their physical energy promptly as they desire to do something more than just to stare and smile, and talk. Perhaps it will draw them closer as a bond, achieving an untroubled mutual atonement and reside the place where they actually belong, nevertheless altogether.

 

_“I'll try every trick in the book.With every step that you take. Everywhere that you look.Just look and you'll find_ _.”_

 

“What’s it, Timothy?” She asked him through a raspy, gawky chuckle, absconding her bloody red lips, glistening brighter tints like glistening Christmas tree’s lights. Hazel orbs darted to chocolate ones, persuading him to spill the tea.

 

“You are just lovely, rare bird. Can’t I stare at you?” He replicated with a rhetorical question, fancying her with a flattering, heart-warming compliment. He wasn’t opting to manipulate her and trap her by rooting her in spiderwebs, unable to break free. Timothy was beyond cordial and he truly meant it, because he wanted to make Jude feel special again just like when he called her a right hand, a rara avis.

 

Her face all flushed as she couldn’t resist the urge due to the compliment, compensating the years of not being told how drop-dead gorgeous she was. It made her to feel so special even beautiful again. She nodded her head, pursing bashfully her lips as seconds later she popped them up. Jude was beyond flattered by his words, besides addressing her rare bird which molted her heart.

 

_“I'll be waiting in line. I'll be waiting in line. 'Cause I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine_ _”_

 

“You can stare at me, of course. I haven’t said anything against you.” She rose up as she was in sitting position on the edge of the bed, stretching her arms. “Would you like to dance with me?”

 

“I don’t even know how to…” The ex-priest confessed with a sheepish smile, blooming on his face, his hands on his hips, lowering his head.

 

“Oh, come on, Timothy! You have never danced in your life?” She retorted pretty amused, grabbing his jawline, rotating and tilting his head as she pursued for his eyes, locking his eyes.

 

“Honestly, yes.” He admitted. For the former nun it was ridiculously odd for somebody to have never danced ever in their life especially Timothy. If Jude was tending to be less mature and burst out laughing for the pettiest stuff, otherwise she would laugh at his face after his confession for never dancing. Nonetheless, since it’s Timothy who’s next to her and apprising her from the bottom of his heart that he has never danced, she would truly appreciate if he wishes to be taught how to dance.

 

“Really?” She arched an eyebrow, meanwhile he nodded modestly. “It looks like, I will teach you if you don’t mind, okay?” Another excited nod yielded again. “Perfect! Let’s do this since I successfully taught two little angels how to dance.” He offered a hand as she took his, fitting perfectly a larger and a petite one, getting from the bed

 

“Make you mine, I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. I'm gonna make you mine. I'll be a hard lovin', pushin' kinda, uh, individual.” The rejoicing, melodious song was looped in the tower’s top room , ballroom dancing as they stretched their arms, squeezing their hands forward, whilst the other ones were directly set on their shoulders as Timothy was being taught by Jude via moves how, studiously studying them without being told for a second time until it became his second nature.

 

“Now, step forward.” She commanded with a cheerful voice, interweaving with the singing voice of the vocalist, coming from the gramophone. “Follow my steps. It’s a piece of cake, Tim.” She attempted to reassure him with briskly voice undertone.

 

_“Knocking night and day at your door. You'll have to turn me away. Like a indestructible force_ _.”_

 

As the second were unabatingly passing through the music, boating up in the room, the former Cardinal followed warily each dancing step, without disgracing himself and Jude’s hardwork she imbued with extreme effort. They couldn’t help but smiling sweetly to each other. As they hoofed forward and backward , swirling around the room partly breathing as they smelled their warm breaths and perfume fragrances, reaching their noses, they swayed their hips until the blonde spun as she held Timothy’s hand, grasping it until she established in his arms, holding her waist as she extended her leg, locking his warm chocolate eyes. Her gown’s ankle length hem was reluctantly swaying and swaying like a summer breeze.

 

 _“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. Make you mine, I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine”_ Hence, they sniggered inwardly, softly as Jude blinked as her other hand was draped around his neck, keeping steady her weight.

 

“You are doing great, Timothy.” She rapped faintly his shoulder in teasing manner. The former promiscuous nightclub singer was in awe once she realized how precisely painstaking he was especially when his enthusiasm readily aroused in learning new stuff. In the meantime, the middle aged woman winked at him gamely, “I didn’t except from you to be that studious.” She furthered as she emboldened the former priest of the church.

 

“Oh!” He inhaled uneasily, sensing the encouraging words of her enveloping his heart with warmness and audacity, offering her a boyish smile as his face blushed, airbrushed in ruddy tingle. “Thanks! I think I need to study more.”

 

Then the both former members of the clergy couldn’t oppress a chuckle, omitting it like a scorching dragon breathing fire.

 

“Don’t worry, you will learn more by keeping your spirits up! Let’s do it again!”

 

 _“I'm gonna make you mine. I'll try every trick in the book. With every step that you take. Everywhere that you look.”_  They resumed dancing, following the music’s invigorating rhythm, grins distorting across their lips. Pulsating exhilarated hearts in their chests. Stilettos and shoes clicking against the floor as they sounded like stomps. Their spirits were skimming their muffled, gleeful voices, crowding the room. Like children’s screams, laughs and shouts. Doubtlessly bringing the purgatory back to life, howsoever, not for eternity.

 

“Timothy?” The blonde inquired in velvety voice as she wanted to draw Timothy’s attention promptly, her mesmerizing hazel eyes fixed on his stunning chocolate irises.

 

“Mmm?” The younger man mumbled.

 

“I am forgiving you and I want to tell you one thing.”

 

What it wasn’t necessary of his side was to reply her back in return as he awaited for her words to be uttered and concede what she needed to say, and most of all to reveal her feelings like a waterfall of gold, her mane of honey curly tresses bounced up and down as their rhythms gradually ensued, ideally connecting with the music’s instrumental and the ebullient vocalists’ voices.

In addition to Jude’s confession about her forgiveness to Timothy, he couldn’t be more content to earn the forgiveness he seeked from his most significant person in this world as she was the sole person, who he knew personally the best even more than his family. At least, even if she’s forgiving him, he will be capable to find peace with himself at last. His gratitude to her would lit his heart up even in the paradise or whenever he goes in the post-purgatory phase.

 

_“Just look and you'll find. I'll try to get to your soul. I'll try to get to your mind. 'Cause I'm gonna make you mine.”_

 

“I love you very much! And I am very very sorry for being rude and so recalcitrant to you. I know how much you hurted me back in our lives,” She paused, clearing her throat whilst taking a step backward as he followed her steps, without taking his eyes of her as his smile rapidly grew after being told she loved him and expressed her apology. “but you deserve a second chance just like every one of us! Never…ever forget that, dear!” In this moment, he bit his lips.

 

 _“Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. Make you mine, I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. I'm gonna make you mine.”_  The song’s chorus repeated in the background as it verged to its own twilight when the purgatory’s dead silence will predominate all over again. Not just for seconds. For a sinister aeon.

 

“I love you too, my rare bird! I would like to thank you for forgiving me because I was the fool, who let your downfall corrupt you and it’s all because of me, playing in the wrong team against you.” He held her hand as she spun once again like a surging whirlpool. The former pious nun’s heart melted after hearing his sincere apology about his foolish, fishy demeanor he demonstrated to her when they were fighting over Dr.Arden’s leery experiments he performed on innocent patients and his deafness to realize the ugly truth about the suspicious former Nazi war criminal.

 

 

 _“Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. Make you mine, I'm gonna make you mine. Baby, I'm gonna make you mine. I'm gonna make you mine.”_  All of a sudden after the music halted as the both former colleagues stumbled on the footboard of the bed, fumbling in the middle of the bed as they initially flinched especially Jude, consequently guffawing uncontrollably as the song’s instrumental vanished in the universe and the numbness in the purgatory emerged.

 

“It’s wonderful.”

 

“Timothy, I cannot disagree with ya. Look what the dance made to us. Bewitching our bond even more, besides the forgiveness wasn’t exceptional.”

 

“The purgatory does wonders to us.” He scoffed as Jude rolled on the other side, being on top of his as her chest pressed on his, her weight pinning him, her predatory eyes eyeing his chocolate orbs with a defiant smirk, paving on her fresh, shining like an angel face as her mane of curls ideally framed her porcelain complexion, descending down. “But I cannot let you go in the hell all alone.” She whispered in his ear seductively. Meanwhile she ferociously approached his face as their faces scarcely divided them a couple of inches, pressing her lips on his as she cupped his face in her both hands, her breasts rubbing against his toned chest, whilst he dangled his arms around her upper back, his fingers tipping her satin gown’s fabric. In the interim, they closed their eyes, relishing the luscious kisses. She grinded her hips on his, his tight crotch in his slacks poking her pubic bone.

As their kisses were growing aggressive with the approaching seconds, their damp tongues commenced dueling against one another as Timothy’s tongue defeated hers, plugging inside her mouth, deepening the French kiss as his hands moved up to her dress’s spaghetti straps, dragging them down of her creamy shoulders as one of her hands shifted up to his dark hair, running vigorously fingers through it. After deepening the kiss as her ravishing red’s gown top of the dress exposed her full, round breasts until her dress pooled her ankles, wriggling her ankles as the garment was released of her body.

In the meantime, she shifted one of her hands to his shirt, undoing it until it exposed it his muscular chest and arms, and therefore it established on the floor with her gown. He flipped her as he was on top of her, achieving domineering position whilst her hand moved down to his belt, unbuckling it in swift motion with her adroit fingers as she worked on the zipper, unzipping the trousers, in spite of the struggling, sluggishness. His lips glided from her lips slowly lowering to jaw until they peaked on her neck, peppering her neck and collarbone with feather and light kisses in the beginning until they escalated, becoming more savage and lustful as he started to use his teeth, nibbling the sensitive skin of her neck and collarbone as he had an arm, wrapped around her waist, running his fingers through her silky old Hollywood wavy hair, tangling his fingers in her tresses, whereas Jude’s moans and groans of pleasure and pain escaped the top of her lungs. They already felt in the paradise as the kisses sent them in the seventh heaven.

 

“Oh fucking God!” The blonde couldn’t help but mutter in velvety voice after she tossed his trousers and kicked her stilettos off her feet, dropping on the floor.

 

The both fools in love were almost naked as they wore nothing else than their undergarments. They couldn’t wait any longer to feel skin in skin, linking them. What they actually sensed was rapprochement not only physically and mentally, but also spiritually. An unseen phenomenon ever before!

Jude’s folds were already soaked as Timothy’s crotch got tighter with each passing second. Spiritual orgasms were invading their bodies. Soft, coarse and loud moans and groans conquered the tower’s room, restoring it to life in the numbing hush.

The truth was they have never been intimate ever before even during their life in the world where their souls left it no longer than a handful of years ago, inhabiting the purgatory as they have their last chance for their souls’ salvation, purifying themselves from the sins and their sinful life they used to possess. They were no longer humans. They were spectrals, unable to seek a peace with their souls until they choose wisely through which gates they are supposed to pass, and lastly their souls to be kept wits about their serenity.

The purgatory was their last granted hope to encounter each other, seeking an expiation from one another after Timothy messed her life up in her last years of her life. It was a God blessing for them. If they weren’t in the purgatory until now, otherwise they would have never met there and take steps forward in accomplishing a genuine serenity together. Timothy would be in hell and live with his guilty, gnawing conscience.

Timothy’s hand lowered down to her lace panties, his fingers rubbing against her clitoris through the lacy material as Jude couldn’t keep her tongue behind her teeth anymore as her hands yanked his boxers until his erected, febrile manhood sprung up, poking her thigh as his lips slithered up to one of her erected nipples, sucking it as he bit it, whereas his other hand pawed her other breast, sensing the warming sensation of his palm beneath her breast’s silken flesh.

 

“Oh, you are so wet!” He eloquently whispered a hymn, ringing in her ears as his tongue circled around her areola, his lips wrapped around her erected nipple as she held his head, running fiercely fingers through his chestnut hair, clenching her eyelids shut like blinds. His eyelids were shut.

 

“You have no idea for how long I have craved this moment, Timothy. Your imagination is so poor!” Jude furthered to keep bucking her hips as Timothy could no longer hold his patience to rub the stark bump of her nerves, his fingertips circling it and his fingers to be baptized in her juices inside her core. “Treat me as I am your slut.”  She kept on, begging with persistent voice, tinting its undertone.

 

Then his mellow, ambrosial lips sloped down from her nipple, slowly through her sensitive, milky wee stomach until they verged on her lace panties as he fleetingly wrenched them from her hips until they were thrown on the carpeted floor with the rest of the spilled garments and lingerie. His lips contacted her flossy pubic skin as he commenced to tease her hard clit, sucking it as she resumed to buck her hips violently whilst his mammoth hands spread her legs, giving him a better access to her clit as passionate, sultry cries escaped the top of her lungs. Her fingers still raking his hair as he pinched with his fingers her clit until his tongue penetrated inside her wet folds, exploring the profound, succulent cavern.

 

“Oh, that feels so good, darling!” The sore pleasure was irresistible, in both cases especially Jude’s as her toes curled up, while the bedsheets were wrinkling and wrinkling as their motions were frequent. She didn’t know how Timothy could be such a brilliantly lover though being a betraying Romeo. Initially, she could think he’s inexperienced when it’s joint a word about sex and intimacy and pleasuring her. Nonetheless, the things turned out in a totally different direction, concluding somewhere else. Perhaps the purgatory has granted him with some kind of supernatural power or who knows? “I would like to feel you inside me. I promise I will make you feel real so good.” Meantime, muffled, tempting whisper cautioned him.

 

Then he plugged out his tongue out of her core as he licked his mouth in greedy manner, savoring her juices as he rose and run his hands all over her body, caressing it featherly as she snaked her both arms around his shoulders. They eventually opened their eyes as they took their time to admire one another’s facial features and natural grace as long, slender, barely showing any marks of aging and wrinkling legs were spread. She was prepared for the cherry on top of the cake.

Seconds later, he positioned his hard manhood at her entrance as he began with light and slow thrusts until she mustered up and her whines were of pleasure and mild pain, shutting her eyes as his darkened gaze shifted down to her angelic face, radiating her pleasure, lust, desire and slight pain which she momentarily experiences. Little did he know how she adored it as his thrusts increased lethally, swiftly.

 

“You are so tight, rare bird!” He was dirty talking to her as his hand squeezed her hip as her legs were wrapped around his waist from a long time ago, whereas his other hand cupped her round breast, squeezing it as her breasts bounced up and down with each thrust. Her nails scrapped down his back as her manicured ravishing red nails digged in his pale skin, leaving traces of her predacious scratches all over his back of pleasure and approaching orgasm that will hit them within seconds even a few minutes.

 

“Oh, this feels so good! Oh fuck!” She growled cheerfully as their bodies got sweatier and they couldn’t catch their breaths anymore.

 

Their climaxes were approaching as Timothy verged to spill his seed inside her core until coarse, breathless moans floated in the room until he came inside her as she dragged down her nails, excavating as bloody traces of her nails were left on his back as her core oozed his cum, whereas he unplugged his cock out of her as she never felt at peace with herself for a long time.

Consequently, he collapsed effortlessly, restlessly breathless on her chest, hardly breathing along, her arms stilling around his upper back, encompassing it.

They spent a couple of minutes in catching their breaths as their faces were barely inches away from one another, reluctantly blinking like twinkling stars in the nocturnal sky. What the former nun had the immense opportunity was feeling the vibrating sensation of Timothy’s rapid throbbing heart in his chest, pressed on her ribs, following its rhythm. Their breaths were the sole sound source inside the vacuum purgatory. The both lovers were physically fatigued, nevertheless, intoxicated spiritually. It was their heel of Achilles.

When they rested as the peculiar soft breaths swam in the room’s background, Timothy’s colossal, smooth hand cupped Jude’s chin, whereas his other hand was playing with her old Hollywood mane of spiral strands, admiring its softness and tucking some hair behind her ear, chocolate orbs locked hers up.

 

“This was so great, Timothy! Thank you for making me feeling so special and being at peace with myself at last.”

 

“You aren’t obligated to thank me because I should thank you for forgiving me and offering me a second chance which I would have never impend from you. Especially after hurting and betraying you.”

 

“Oh, Timothy!” She exhaled sharply, closing her eyes for a while as she blinked, snuggling. “You don’t have any clue how your presence there was so special and all I wanted was to…forgive you for all deeds with which you damaged me.” She said in velvety voice as it was audible for him only. “I am thankful for our encounter which it might be the last unlike when you…you know!” Jude didn’t want to further in details, factly, they just had an illustrious, one-of-a-kind experience that will abide in their memories even as angels in the heavens where they are aimed to go after the purgatory and making their final decision.

 

He just genuinely, lovingly smiled to her, capturing her lips in a light, flaming kiss as it might be their last in pre-paradise. In the interim, his thumbs kneaded her cheekbones as Jude inwardly sniggered. After they broke off the kiss, they looked up at each other’s faces.

 

“I love you very much to death, honey!”

 

“I love you too more than anything, rara avis!”

 

The former priest just laid on top of her, watching their faces as they relished the desolation that encircled them in the hollow as they are the only survivors of the apocalypse.


	5. Peace (Culmination)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Timothy achieve peace at last. But their seperation is heartaching.

 

 

“All I want is to spend the eternity…”Jude emphasized the word eternity as she moved her elegant, feminine hands up to his face, cupping his jaw, whereas her other hand was managing to stroke gently his face to imprint every detail…every feature of this handsome face which she will never forget. Tracing it with a single, delicate touch beneath her creamy, mossy skin. “…with you!” The former nun furthered with her confession as her voice was velvety, her warm breath lightly blowing his dark hair as he closed his eyes for moments. Feeling her breath as if it was before the apocalypse.

 

The former’s priest smile blossomed on his fresh, youthful face as he admired each feature she possessed. Her ravishing red lips. Her old Hollywood mane of golden curls, descending down her shoulders. Her creamy, milky skin. Her slender, still extraordinary figure. Her honey brown orbs, radiating love, warmness, charm and maternal instinct, otherwise if it naturally engrosses in some situations. Her heart, enveloped in gold and fondness. Her strong, persistent character, embodying her exceedingly potent stamina of stell. Her eloquent, mesmerizing voice, regardless her condition whether if she was rather happy, sad or exasperated. He is never going to forget Jude’s traits.

 

“I don’t want to leave you alone…ever again!” Timothy stuttered with soft voice as he inhaled afterwards, without shifting their eyes to look in different direction.

 

“Jude?” In the meantime, Shachath emerged in the room, overlooking the fact the lovers were naked as their discarded garments, lingerie and shoes were scattered on the carpeted floor. “Timothy?” She carried on as she addressed the both former pious members of the clergy, drawing their attention instantly as Timothy turned to the pale figure, clothed in black garments with the raven hairstyle, porcelain and cryptically beautiful complexion as her lips, layered in bloody red hue approximately saturated with the complexion altogether.

 

It wasn’t actually the first encounter of the both lovers with the angel of death, who quested them to choose wisely between heaven or hell for the residence of their souls. She stood in the middle of the room, offering them a genuine, comforting smile, opting to assure them everything will be alright and solved.

First and foremost, Jude and Timothy watched effortlessly unamused the supernatural creature. Secondly, slight smiles distorted across their plump lips. Their hearts reluctantly molted. Black and white silence arched in the tower’s room as the both colours brightly contrasted the vigorous, passionate minutes inside the purgatory a handful of minutes ago unlike the malicious hush that encompassed the sole visitors. As an addition, the natural nudity of their bodies was oblivious for both of them.

 

“Have you already decided where you shall go?” The fallen angel enquired serenely, almost emotionlessly as her smile was reassuring.

 

“Y-yes!” Jude and Timothy responded timidly in unison. “The heavens!”

 

“Good! All you need to do is to descend the tower’s stairs and in front of the tower’s front door a portal is awaiting you to settle in your new home. Good luck, Jude and Timothy!” Shortly after the mystic figure’s utterance, she vanished in the abysmal hollow as the couple panted artificially.

 

The desolation inhabited the purgatory all over again. The muteness airbrushed the purgatory with the colors of the silence, muting each sound and noise which was provided, and most of all, fading down for eternity as it lasts even for seconds or just milliseconds. No more!

Afterwards they sealed their lips in a long-lasting, abysmal, sensual kiss for farewell. What they actually wanted from the bottom of their heart was actually the kiss to last for eternity as much as their presences, united. Nevertheless, it was impossible. The purgatory was their last hope to seek peace and redemption for their peccant souls that once dwelled their bodies back in their lives, fueling them with inebriating, implacable sins, gnawing them cell by cell until they become invisible and no longer are being visible in the universe.

Despite the fact, they didn’t want to separate, they were obligated as they have already informed Shachath what’s their final decision, subsequently guiding them what awaits them beside the tower’s front door.

They momentarily got from the king-sized bed, picked up from the carpeted floor their discarded clothes and lingerie, dressing themselves up in them. Within minutes, they were already prepared as Timothy offered Jude’s hand as they fit ideally- a petite, frail, elegant one with a larger, creamy, secure hand.

Once they held one another’s hands, they walked out of the room as they aimed to descend the tower’s spiral stairs in restless, persevering manner, without giving up before it was too late.

 

“You have no idea how much I am going to miss you!” Jude cried.

 

“It’s alright, Jude! At least, we will see in the paradise and spend the eternity together.” He encouraged her optimistically though it was morbidly heartaching moment for them as a handful of minutes even seconds were behind before fleeing the purgatory and establish in their new home, embraced by other angels. In the interim, the former nun’s silken honey waterfall of wavy tresses were bouncing and bouncing as they were approaching the exit.

 

“Timothy?”

 

“Mmm?” He inquired through a muffled humming.

 

“Do you believe in the afterlife? I mean…our souls to dwell in other bodies?” She posed the question beyond desperately, yearning to acknowledge his rational response.

 

“I think yes. It’s possible that.” He winked at her as he glanced at her though his chocolate orbs were generally, utterly focused on the spiral stairs as he didn’t want trouble at all.

 

“Just imagine if our souls were inside other human beings’ bodies and we meet one day…in the future…in our possible future life!” She couldn’t oppress a shining, dazzling smile crawling on her face. The concept of the afterlife and encountering someday, somehow in the future bewilderingly intrigued her.

 

“What a magic, isn’t it?” She asked a rhetorical question, concluding with a husky chuckle, escaping her throat as he joined her and they were in the middle of their journey of the tower’s grueling stairs.

 

“If you say so,” He paused as they were almost in the end of descending the stairs which drained their physical strength and vitality. “you are right!”

 

As soon as they stepped on the stone tower’s first floor, standing in front of the door frame’s front door, they turned to one another, throwing their arms around their upper backs, grasping the hug as they cuddled for last time before post-purgatory’s phase.

Meanwhile bittersweet, frosty tears betrayed them to well in their eyes, gushing down their cheeks as their hearts were torn down to basics from the impending separation which they should doubtlessly confront and embrace with open arms. The former promiscuous nightclub singer’s face was buried in the crook of her favorite former priest’s neck, smelling his alluring cologne as if it’s the last thing she will smell for this moment. Crystal, bitter tears streamed down her face, blubbing silently to herself as Timothy rubbed her back, in account for her comfort.

 

“Shu, shu, rare bird! Please, don’t cry. I hate to see you in such vulnerable and dreadful condition, you know.” Timothy was absolutely right as he just admitted what was on his mind. He abhorred beholding his right hand crying and powerless. It was like a razor-edged, honed dagger, stabbed in his chest, penetrating his ribs as thick, murky blood spurts. “It’s okay. I hate to separate with you but the heaven will reunite us once we go there.” His chin rested on her refined shoulder.

 

Consequently they broke off the hug as they took their time to admire each other’s faces for last time, seconds before going through the portal. Then they just entered inside the portal where the immortality and the peace invited them, ensuring them with a union.

The differences between the purgatory and the real life world were indisputably enormous. They weren’t for underestimating especially as a former human inhabitant, who once resided the abysmal world, however, paying a visit to the purgatory, seeking an atonement for its soul and choosing wisely whether to join the angels in the heaven, or rather the vile, remorseless devils in the hell.

The real life world was a place for forgiveness too but in the purgatory the forgiveness is the last hope. The forgiveness is considered as a God blessing especially for the wretched, lost souls. For everyone of us. No one won’t comprehend and assimilate the entire conception of it unless visits the purgatory for himself and goes in the accurate direction, guiding him to his new home.

At last but not least, Jude and Timothy arrived in the heaven where they exactly wanted as they have already done their question and they accomplished an eternal peace with themselves, and a redemption. They couldn’t be more content for meeting in the paradise and spending the ever-lasting time together. As angels, God servants and fallen angels. 

 

****THE END** **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I would like to thank every reader, who took his/her time in reading one of my favorite books that I have ever written. 
> 
> That was actually the last chapter of the short book "Last Dance in Purgatory".
> 
> I would be happy if you express your opinion on the book. I will truly appreciate it.
> 
> See you in the future book projects! :))

**Author's Note:**

> What's your personal opinion on the debut chapter? It's my first time to write a book with self-harm and suicide especially a short one. :))
> 
> Feedbacks are welcome! :))


End file.
